Poop and Stuff

As the best indicator of a newborn baby's health, new parents are often obsessed with their child's bowel movements. Every diaper change is like a doctor's physical. Not so in this house. Every diaper change is an opportunity to have fun. First, let me preface this whole bloggy thingy with this: I talk to our son, Henry, all the freakin' time. I ask him questions, I tell him things, I spell words for him, I read to him from the New York Times (I even read selections from my Master's Thesis, The Ideology of the Reagan Administration and the Arms Buildup - he made it through more of that than my wife or my parents or anyone else I know), I sing songs, I make up songs. In general, our relationship thus far is one long conversation where we talk about (mostly) what I want and where I'm always right and where everything I say is pretty much designed to get Henry to smile or laugh. And, that smile and laugh is pretty much the greatest thing I've ever seen.

Back to the diapers. So, there are two songs that I made up for my boy of which I am most proud, at least so far. One, the Underpants Song, is sung to the tune of Camptown Races:

Henry's got clean underpants, doo dah, doo dah,
Henry's got clean underpants, Oh de doo dah day
Oh de doo dah daaaay, Oh de doo dah daaay,
Henry's got clean underpants, Oh. De. Doo. Dah. Day.

He gets this song when, you guessed it, he's got on clean underpants (usually a onesie of some sort). Now, this song is the kind of thing that will be burned into your brain and, most important, this song is a lot of fun to sing. Therefore, Henry has fun. Try it with your own kids. The second revolves around a favorite product of ours, Boudreaux's Butt Paste. I thought this product was great just because of its name (it's actually a great diaper rash preventer - like Desitin without the smell or greasiness). So, I sing the Butt Paste song. Generally, the words are something like this:

Butt Paste, Butt Paste, gotta have the Butt Paste
Put it on your butt, doo doo doo doo doo (or sometimes la la la la la)
Put it on your balls, doo doo doo doo doo
get some on your legs, doo doo doo doo doo
and a little on your taint, doo doo doo doo doo
and don't forget your p-p-p-penis*.

I never thought I was a good singer, and I still don't. I do make a great effort to sing in key, since I'm trying to develop Henry's "ear." I can sing along with almost anything so I do that. Our latest fun came singing along with the Dead's "Shakedown Street" from September 1991 at MSG (the show with Branford on sax). He LOVED it. Maybe it was how happy I was, maybe it was the dancing, maybe it was Jerry's voice. Maybe he's a little Deadhead at heart.



*I used to say "don't forget your mons pubis," but I later found out that is an area only above the vagina. Damn.